Two years.

I can’t believe this is my reality. I can’t believe that he’s not here and we have to celebrate without him. I can’t belive that I birthed the most perfect little boy, but only got to hold him for such a short time. My heart, my soul, my mind, and body; every fiber of my being, misses my son.

I can believe he made me a better person. I can belive he made me a mom. I can belive that no matter what this life brings me, I know that he’ll always be the one leading me down the path I’m supposed to take.

Today I want to celebrate through the tears. I want to smile, laugh, and not take a single second for granted. I want to reminisce on the memories he left me with. I want to give back, and spread his love. I want to make him proud by being the best me I know how.

Child loss is ugly. It’s gutwrenching in every sense of the word. It is a hurt that leaves a gaping wound that will never close. Many bereaved parents suffer silently for a lifetime, I will not. Not a moment of my life will ever pass where a perfectly shaped ‘T’ isn’t missing from my heart. I am constantly aware of his absense and I plan to use my hurt to better others. I want to turn my suffering into good, because of him. Tyler’s purpose gave me purpose and I refuse to let that go to waste.

Today I will go buy a cake. Our family will go to dinner in celebration of your life. I will love Abigail with no end and hold her just a little tighter. I will say your name proudly and pay it forward in your honor. Most importantly, I will love you now and always. My gift to you on your second birthday is life, through me. May your memory never be tarnished nor forgotten, Bubba.

Happy 2nd birthday T man!

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4 thoughts on “Two years.

  1. I am so proud of you Lisa and my heart is with you and Billy and Abby today and always and like you Tyler will forever be within my heart and thoughts every breath I take. I went to visit him today and sang to him for all of us.

    Love you
    MLW

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good afternoon today I went to pick up my sons birthday cake and was told it was paid for by an angel with a card, it brought me to tears for the simple fact you went out your way on your sons birthday who is now an angel in heaven to help make my sons day that more meaningful I don’t know the right words to say but thank you so much from the bottom of my heart & my family Tyler will continue to live on through you guys and just for touching my heart on this day he will get a celebration with a balloon to the sky always we may never knew the reason why God takes people away from us so soon I pray comfort through each and every day I pray for healing and strength for you and your family I pray God holds you and those times when you want to cry it’s ok Tyler knew how much he was and is loved you are one strong momma and I pray many blessings upon you and your family forever we will remember Tyler and will pay it forward thank you so much. Happy Birthday Tyler ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll never be able to express how much it means to me that we were able to help with your sons cake. I meant every word we left within the card and I’m so happy that it found it’s way to you, and you found yourself here. Our son was and still is a true blessing in our lives, and the lives of many. I just hope to keep spreading his love and joy for all of my years. May God bless you and your family! Hug your little man tight and thank you so, so much for the heartfelt words!

      Like

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