Death.

Two years ago death found us in the worst of ways. It took a life we valued over our own. It took innocence, light, hopes, dreams and aspirations. It took a lot of love out of this world and carried it over into the next.

I can still feel Tyler to this day. I remember looking at my son as they declared his time of death. I watched as they removed the tubes that were placed in a failed attempt to keep him here with us. I felt my heart shatter as he took his final breath in our arms.

Two whole years and my love still seems to grow. There isn’t a day I don’t whisper to him in my quiet moments in hope that he can hear me. Each time I see a butterfly, I imagine he’s there watching; guiding us through life’s little journeys.

The month of February is “heart month” and I plan to celebrate it with as much joy as I can muster. I want to share these brave boys and girls with those who are uneducated in the world of Congenital Heart Defects. Each story is unique and beautiful, so please help me to bring them comfort, healing, hope, or just gratitude, knowing that someone out there is listening.

Today may pull me down at the thought of what I’ve lost, but in the end, I’m still eternally grateful. Two years ago my world changed, my eyes opened, and my heart crumbled. Don’t let the devastation of it all fool you, for there is beauty in the ashes, and it’s brought me back to life.

The amount of change I’ve endured over the last 730 days will only continue. Two years from now I can’t wait to look back and see the progress Tyler has made through me in all aspects of life. He made me a momma and he’s showing me the way for Abby. His love is still here and present in all that we do and I’ll never stop sharing it with the world.

Today, everyday, and every moment, we think of you Tyler. You mean so much to so many and we are proud to call you ours. We are one day closer to you. Until forever my little love.

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Though life may go on, your memory is frozen in time. You will never be forgotten.

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